April 27, 2025
How To Deal with a Decisionmaker Who Can't or Won't Make a Decision
It's time to talk about one of the most frustrating things that can get in an advocate's way: when you've got a decisionmaker that, no matter what you do or say, no matter how hard you push them, it feels like they just will never commit to anything. They either can't or won't make a decision. It can leave an advocate just about tearing their hair out in frustration.
It can turn into a huge time suck. You're trying all these different angles to try to figure out, how do I get through to this person? How do I get them off the dime and make them take an action? To do something already! I've been there and I know what it's like.
When there's a decisionmaker who can't or won't make a decision, there's a reason behind that. But the stated reason and the real reason are often very different. We have to become detectives to figure out what's really going on. What is the actual reason?
Because here's the thing. How likely is it we're going to just luck into the right messaging or the right strategy if we don't really know what's causing them to fail to make a decision? If we want to figure out the right strategy to make them actually take an action, to move to a decision, the first thing we've got to do is understand why they're not doing that now.
I want to share with you a process you can use to uncover what’s really going on with that decisionmaker, and how to build a strategy to get them to take action.
In this episode, we share:
- The six most common reasons behind that indecision
- The surprising ways fear affects a decisionmaker’s thinking
- The two best strategies to get to the bottom of what’s causing your decsiionmaker’s indecision
- How to read behavioral cues that will tell you what’s driving the decisionmaker
- Key strategies you can use to address the causes of the indecision, and move the decisionmaker to action
I'm preparing to launch a group coaching program that will focus specifically on helping you craft messaging that will shift decisionmakers’ perspectives and get them on board with sustaining and even expanding your funding. This will be a coaching opportunity for a limited number of people to come in and be part of a group. There'll be some training, but most of it will be coaching and helping you to get your messaging dialed in so that you can address this pressing need.
What I'm seeing right now is there's nothing more important than this. If that sounds like something you'd like to be a part of, message me through the podcast website or on LinkedIn.
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You're listening to the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
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In today's episode, we share how to deal with a decision maker who can't or won't make a decision.
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So stay tuned.
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If you want to have real and powerful influence over the money and policy decisions that impact your organization and the people you serve, then you're in the right place.
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I.
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I'm Kath Patrick, and I've helped dozens of progressive nonprofit leaders take their organizations to new and higher levels of impact and success by building powerful influence with the decision makers that matter.
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It is possible to get a critical mass of the money and policy decision makers in your world to be as invested in your success as you are, to have them seeking you out as an equal partner and to have them.
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Bringing opportunities and resources to you.
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This podcast will help you do just that.
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Welcome to the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
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Hey there folks.
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Welcome to another episode of the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
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I'm your host, Kath Patrick.
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I'm so glad you're here for today's episode because it's time to talk about one of the most frustrating things that can get in an advocate's way.
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And that's when you've got a decision maker that no matter what you do or say, no matter how hard you push them, it feels like they just will never commit to anything.
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They either can't or won't make a decision.
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It can leave an advocate just about tearing their hair out in frustration.
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So here's the thing to know.
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This isn't a super common phenomenon, it's not like you're gonna run into it every day.
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When you do run into it, it can make you crazy.
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Because it can turn into a huge time suck.
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You're trying 129 different angles to try to figure out how do I get through to this person?
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How do I get'em off the dime and make them take an action?
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Do something already.
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I've been there and I know what it's like.
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This is on my mind'cause I was just on a call with one of my clients the other day and they were facing this challenge, and they were of course beyond frustrated.
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I took them through a process that it struck me would be useful to share with you here.
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Basically what's going on when there's a decision maker who can't or won't make a decision, there's a reason behind that.
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Now, the problem can be that the decision maker themselves may not be fully aware of the reason, and so we have to become detectives to figure out what's really going on.
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What is the actual reason.
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Because here's the thing.
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How likely is it we're going to just luck into the right messaging or the right strategy if we don't really know what's causing them to fail to make a decision?
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Not great, right?
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If we wanna figure out the right strategy to make them actually take an action, to move to a decision, the first thing we've gotta do is understand why they're not doing that now.
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And the underpinning to that is understanding that there is always at least one reason.
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Sometimes there's more than one.
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So we get to become detectives to try to uncover what's really going on and what's in the way.
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Then we can formulate a strategy to take those things out of the way as much as possible, or to work with them or work around them.
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But we can't do any of that if we don't actually know what's going on under the hood.
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Let's start with the typical reasons.
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In my years of working with all different kinds of decision makers, it's been my experience that there's a set of common reasons that are at the root of a decision maker being unable or unwilling to make a decision about something that you really need them to make a decision on.
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And these are in no particular order, but they do fall into groups.
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The first possibility that we always have to consider is that this particular decision maker actually lacks the authority to make the decision we want them to make.
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And if that's what's going on, then the problem you have is you're barking up the wrong decision maker tree.
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So that's the first question you have to ascertain is, is this really the right decision maker?
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We have to know that first.
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The other really common reasons are fear, and it can be fear of a lot of things, and that connects to a bunch of the other reasons that I'm gonna share.
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They could be under a lot of competing pressures for a decision.
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They have to make a decision on X Y Z, but they have half a dozen powerful people saying to them, I want you to decide one way, and half a dozen other powerful people saying, no, I want you to decide this the other way.
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And then a bunch of other players saying, well, maybe the first way or the second way, but we need it to be changed in these ways.
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And they're paralyzed into inaction because they know that no matter what they do, half the room is gonna be mad at them.
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So that goes back to fear.
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They could be incredibly conflict averse just as a human.
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That it's not so much about their decision making role or their job, they're just a conflict averse person.
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And it makes them deeply uncomfortable.
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On some level that also goes back to fear.
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Another reason that can be in play is uncertainty.
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And often it's uncertainty about how the decision will play out.
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If they jump this way or that way, what will be the consequences?
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And if they can't see that clearly, they can't see down the road and they're not sure, then they're worried that they'll make the wrong decision, which goes back to fear.
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Now these last two are separate problems of their own.
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It's possible that incompetence is the reason.
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That they simply don't have the knowledge or the skillset or the whatever to be able to make any decision or to be able to make a good decision.
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They're in over their head.
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They found themselves in this decision making role, but they are not up to the task.
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They're not competent to do it.
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And then the last possibility is that they have some kind of a vested interest that they haven't disclosed.
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They've got an investment in a thing turning out one way or another, and they may be getting pressure to decide in a direction that will not serve their vested interest.
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And so they're not committing one way or another because they're trying to figure out how they can thread that needle.
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The other thing that's important to know is that obviously more than one of these things can be true at the same time.
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You can have a lot of these reasons going on in layers with a given decision maker, and it's not uncommon.
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But you can see how with those different possible reasons happening in the background, that your approach to how to move them out of that and into decision mode is going to depending on what's driving their behavior or lack thereof.
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Once you know the cause of the failure to make a decision or causes plural, then you can make a strategy.
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So the first thing we have to do is be the detective and try to find out what's really going on.
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And there's two main ways to find that out.
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One is by talking with them.
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Most people leave clues, especially when they are trying to avoid doing something.
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They leave clues all over the place about what's really going on.
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Listen to what they say.
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Watch their body language.
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Notice what parts of the conversation or what subset topic areas make them uncomfortable and how does that discomfort get expressed?
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You can learn a lot just by paying attention to their words and their body language once you know that you're probably looking for one or more things on this list.
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Not to say that there's nothing else in the world that could cause them to not make a decision.
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But these are the main reasons that come up 90% of the time.
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Start there and start just observing and noticing.
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And once you begin to have a sense of what you think is the case, you can test that further by crafting messaging that will poke at that bit, just a little bit more.
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And to see if Yep.
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Oh yeah, that's the sore spot.
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We found it.
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It's this part.
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Okay.
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Now we know the specific sore spot.
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Sometimes when you want a decision it's really simple, like fund this proposal or don't.
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That doesn't usually lead to wishy-washy decision making.
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The more complicated a thing is, the more likely you're gonna have a wishy-washy decision maker behavior.
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'Cause they're weighing a lot of alternatives and they're considering a lot of different aspects, and very often in that process they wind up paralyzed and unable to make a decision or unwilling.
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So the more nuance and detail you have about which aspects of the complicated thing are particularly sore spots, the more helpful that is to you.
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Or it may be that the only thing that's really the sore spot for them is just how complicated it all is, and that there are too many stakeholders and that no matter what they do, someone will be irritated.
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In which case that gives you a clue that this is probably a little bit about conflict aversion, and it's definitely about competing pressures, and both of those are fundamentally about fear.
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So be the detective.
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First is your own observation and your own experimentation poking around a little bit to find the sore spots.
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And then the other thing that is incredibly valuable is ask around.
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And if they are speaking about this anywhere in the public forum, on socials, on podcasts, on traditional media, in town halls, wherever they may be showing up.
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Listen to what they're saying in those forums.
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Pay special attention if they are saying one thing in one forum and a different thing in a different forum, depending on who's in the audience.
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That's super important information.
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And then gossip is your friend in this case.
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Ask around carefully, quietly.
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Say, Hey, you know, we're getting the sense that such and so decision maker is, I'm not sure if they're ambivalent on this topic or if they're conflicted or what's going on, but they just seem unable to choose a path forward.
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And I'm wondering if you know what that might be about?
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And obviously you pick people to ask who have a prayer of knowing this, but you can ask around and you'll pick up all sorts of useful information.
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That's especially where you're likely to pick up information about any vested interests that they have, which could include particular alliances with certain stakeholder groups or individuals.
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It'll also tend to surface any incompetence issues.
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And it may very well surface some personality features.
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Like, oh, well that's just George.
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He's super conflict averse.
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He just can't cope anytime there's conflict.
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This is not new behavior.
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He does this all the time.
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So ask around, get more intel.
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Begin to identify what's in the way, what the real problem is here.
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Because I'll tell you what.
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On the surface, the indecision is about the substance of what's being decided.
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But it's never just about that.
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There's always something else under the surface.
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It won't do us any good to just address the substance piece at the top because it's an iceberg.
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The substance piece is what you can see.
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And they'll talk about the substance piece.
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They'll say, well, this is a problem because you know, this proposal here, this project, this policy design, whatever it is.
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There's a flaw here or there's a concern here.
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There's something about the substance of it, how it's designed, who it's designed to help, what it's scope is, all those things.
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And that's important.
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Absolutely.
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That's a big part of advocacy is getting the policy right.
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Or getting the funding right.
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No question.
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But that's the part of the iceberg you can see.
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Underneath that is the whole giant iceberg of what's going on inside that decision maker's head and heart.
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And the reality is that that stuff below the surface is is going to guide their actions, every time.
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So we have to address that too.
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There are also cues in their behavior and their behavior over time.
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Let's say for example, you've met with a particular decision maker, either in person or on Zoom or whatever.
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You've met with them, you've had conversations a few times, and you start noticing that the conversation never seems to move forward.
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You keep going around and around on the same issues or points repeatedly in each meeting, and they never move closer to an outcome or a decision, which is what you're trying to drive them toward.
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So if you notice that's happening, you're observing this unfold and you're like, okay, well something's up here.
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I just had a conversation with a client this week about a situation like this.
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And one of the questions I asked the client was, what do they seem to keep getting stuck on?
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What are the things that you're talking about again and again that don't seem to move forward?
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So we isolated that and I said, well, okay, so that's telling us something.
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That is a piece of what's driving the inability to come to a decision.
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There's something about that piece that's getting stuck, so we need to know more about that.
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And then I said, you know, we're missing some critical information about this individual decision maker.
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Cause from the behavior we were seeing, it was pretty clear that we were dealing with probably either a person who was conflict averse because we had seen some behavior from this person that suggested that might be the case.
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And we also knew for a fact that this decision maker was getting heavy input from some other pretty big stakeholders in the system and process, and that those stakeholders were kind of pushing this person around.
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So with not a ton of information other than just previous conversations and observed behavior, we were able to craft a strategy to say, okay, look, clearly this person is stuck.
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It appears they are trying not to make a decision, and that won't work for us.
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We need a decision and we need the decision to go a certain way.
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Where we landed was that as long as this decision maker was stuck in conflict aversion and fear of upsetting a powerful stakeholder, nothing would change.
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We came to two conclusions.
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One that it was time for pressure.
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But my client's organization as a Nonprofit on its own, doesn't wield sufficient power or influence to counter the power and influence held by these much larger for-profit entities that are the other stakeholders that are pushing in another direction.
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So where we came to was a strategy where the Nonprofit would gather up some of its more powerful allies and get them involved.
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We identified some state legislators who would likely be interested in how this decision got made.
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And there are for profit stakeholders that have contractual relationships with this client, and they could be brought in as more powerful stakeholders who could have a voice.
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We wanted to even the pressure.
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We know this decisionmakers feeling pressure from a powerful set of stakeholders.
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We needed to make sure that they were feeling equal pressure from my client's side of the story, so that that would at least be balanced out.
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Because otherwise we were afraid that this decision maker would simply yield to the gorilla in the room.
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So we decided to build our own gorilla.
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And made a strategy for which allies to bring in and how to convene a conversation that allows them to weigh in.
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At the same time, we knew that we needed more clarity about what was exactly holding up this decision maker.
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We suspected conflict aversion.
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We suspected discomfort and fear around the pressure coming from one side.
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But we also assessed that this person's boss would not be happy to discover that something might be about to happen that would blow up something that the boss was very invested in.
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So we considered some strategies for how we might loop the boss in without alienating the decision maker we were dealing with.
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So we decided to get the legislators and the for-profit stakeholders to check in with the boss, with the knowledge that if we got the boss on our side, that would put both a new kind of pressure on the decision maker we were dealing with, but would also give them cover to make the decision.
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Because if the boss is in favor of it, then it's not just on that one decision maker.
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It's like, well, this is where our agency's going.
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This is what we're doing.
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This is still unfolding.
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We just built this strategy a few days ago, so it will have to be carried out and we will learn as we go.
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And that's something that's also, you know, I talk about this all the time, that you formulate the best strategy you can with the information you have.
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And most of the time, one piece of your strategy is going to be, get as much more information as you can along the way.
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So we're both gathering additional intel, but we're also testing things and finding out what resonates and what else we can learn.
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And then each time that happens, we adjust and we refine and we keep at it until we are positioned where we need to be, with the influence that we need to have, in order to get the decision result that we want.
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So that's essentially the formula for this.
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To the extent that there is a formula, this is the formula.
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But this is mostly about understanding the degree to which sort of core human nature and core human foibles affect the behavior of even the most powerful decision makers, even the most highly placed decision makers.
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This can happen at very high levels, and it can happen all the way down the pecking order to very low level decision makers.
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They definitely tend to more often be driven by fear.
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They're worried about getting in trouble.
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They're worried about aggravating somebody higher up in their own organization or just aggravating anybody.
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So the lower in the pecking order they are that the greater the chances that there is a fear based dynamic happening, but it can occur at very high levels as well, sometimes simply because of personality type.
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You just have to take all those pieces of the puzzle, but start with the basic framework of there's a set of reasons that are 90% likely to be the reasons that a decision maker isn't taking action.
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If your issue is that there is a decision to be made and they're not making any progress on making the decision.
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That's your heads up that it's time to analyze the situation, understand exactly which of the human foibles and issues you're dealing with, and formulate a strategy to either break that up or go around it or accommodate it in some way.
00:20:07.979 --> 00:20:19.863
If the underlying reason is fear because of competing pressures from multiple decision makers, then you need a strategy to find the win-win solution and help the decision maker see that.
00:20:20.673 --> 00:20:30.747
If the problem is uncertainty and the fear that arises from that, then you become the expert guide who can show them the path out of their uncertainty.
00:20:31.446 --> 00:20:34.656
Now, if the problem is incompetence, you can help them think it through.
00:20:35.298 --> 00:20:36.317
Be their second brain.
00:20:36.973 --> 00:20:40.969
And if the problem is vested interest, this can get tricky.
00:20:41.486 --> 00:20:45.355
We'll operate from the assumption that their vested interest is non-corrupt.
00:20:45.882 --> 00:20:53.203
And in that case, you help them figure out a way to thread the needle so that they get what they want and you get what you want.
00:20:54.028 --> 00:21:03.478
One way or another, you're finding a way to address the part of the iceberg that's not immediately visible, but that is driving the decision maker's behavior.
00:21:04.249 --> 00:21:11.179
And then once you do that, your chances of getting that decision maker to actually make a decision go way up.
00:21:12.108 --> 00:21:13.364
I hope that's helpful.
00:21:13.453 --> 00:21:23.756
We could go a lot deeper on this, but that was the biggest principle that I wanted to share today to help shift your perspective a little bit on how to come at this very common problem.
00:21:24.476 --> 00:21:29.336
Thanks for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode right here on the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
00:00:00.050 --> 00:00:02.689
You're listening to the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
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In today's episode, we share how to deal with a decision maker who can't or won't make a decision.
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So stay tuned.
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If you want to have real and powerful influence over the money and policy decisions that impact your organization and the people you serve, then you're in the right place.
00:00:26.233 --> 00:00:26.263
I.
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I'm Kath Patrick, and I've helped dozens of progressive nonprofit leaders take their organizations to new and higher levels of impact and success by building powerful influence with the decision makers that matter.
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It is possible to get a critical mass of the money and policy decision makers in your world to be as invested in your success as you are, to have them seeking you out as an equal partner and to have them.
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Bringing opportunities and resources to you.
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This podcast will help you do just that.
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Welcome to the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
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Hey there folks.
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Welcome to another episode of the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
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I'm your host, Kath Patrick.
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I'm so glad you're here for today's episode because it's time to talk about one of the most frustrating things that can get in an advocate's way.
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And that's when you've got a decision maker that no matter what you do or say, no matter how hard you push them, it feels like they just will never commit to anything.
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They either can't or won't make a decision.
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It can leave an advocate just about tearing their hair out in frustration.
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So here's the thing to know.
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This isn't a super common phenomenon, it's not like you're gonna run into it every day.
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When you do run into it, it can make you crazy.
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Because it can turn into a huge time suck.
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You're trying 129 different angles to try to figure out how do I get through to this person?
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How do I get'em off the dime and make them take an action?
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Do something already.
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I've been there and I know what it's like.
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This is on my mind'cause I was just on a call with one of my clients the other day and they were facing this challenge, and they were of course beyond frustrated.
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I took them through a process that it struck me would be useful to share with you here.
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Basically what's going on when there's a decision maker who can't or won't make a decision, there's a reason behind that.
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Now, the problem can be that the decision maker themselves may not be fully aware of the reason, and so we have to become detectives to figure out what's really going on.
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What is the actual reason.
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Because here's the thing.
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How likely is it we're going to just luck into the right messaging or the right strategy if we don't really know what's causing them to fail to make a decision?
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Not great, right?
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If we wanna figure out the right strategy to make them actually take an action, to move to a decision, the first thing we've gotta do is understand why they're not doing that now.
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And the underpinning to that is understanding that there is always at least one reason.
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Sometimes there's more than one.
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So we get to become detectives to try to uncover what's really going on and what's in the way.
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Then we can formulate a strategy to take those things out of the way as much as possible, or to work with them or work around them.
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But we can't do any of that if we don't actually know what's going on under the hood.
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Let's start with the typical reasons.
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In my years of working with all different kinds of decision makers, it's been my experience that there's a set of common reasons that are at the root of a decision maker being unable or unwilling to make a decision about something that you really need them to make a decision on.
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And these are in no particular order, but they do fall into groups.
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The first possibility that we always have to consider is that this particular decision maker actually lacks the authority to make the decision we want them to make.
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And if that's what's going on, then the problem you have is you're barking up the wrong decision maker tree.
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So that's the first question you have to ascertain is, is this really the right decision maker?
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We have to know that first.
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The other really common reasons are fear, and it can be fear of a lot of things, and that connects to a bunch of the other reasons that I'm gonna share.
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They could be under a lot of competing pressures for a decision.
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They have to make a decision on X Y Z, but they have half a dozen powerful people saying to them, I want you to decide one way, and half a dozen other powerful people saying, no, I want you to decide this the other way.
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And then a bunch of other players saying, well, maybe the first way or the second way, but we need it to be changed in these ways.
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And they're paralyzed into inaction because they know that no matter what they do, half the room is gonna be mad at them.
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So that goes back to fear.
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They could be incredibly conflict averse just as a human.
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That it's not so much about their decision making role or their job, they're just a conflict averse person.
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And it makes them deeply uncomfortable.
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On some level that also goes back to fear.
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Another reason that can be in play is uncertainty.
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And often it's uncertainty about how the decision will play out.
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If they jump this way or that way, what will be the consequences?
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And if they can't see that clearly, they can't see down the road and they're not sure, then they're worried that they'll make the wrong decision, which goes back to fear.
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Now these last two are separate problems of their own.
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It's possible that incompetence is the reason.
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That they simply don't have the knowledge or the skillset or the whatever to be able to make any decision or to be able to make a good decision.
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They're in over their head.
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They found themselves in this decision making role, but they are not up to the task.
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They're not competent to do it.
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And then the last possibility is that they have some kind of a vested interest that they haven't disclosed.
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They've got an investment in a thing turning out one way or another, and they may be getting pressure to decide in a direction that will not serve their vested interest.
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And so they're not committing one way or another because they're trying to figure out how they can thread that needle.
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The other thing that's important to know is that obviously more than one of these things can be true at the same time.
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You can have a lot of these reasons going on in layers with a given decision maker, and it's not uncommon.
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But you can see how with those different possible reasons happening in the background, that your approach to how to move them out of that and into decision mode is going to depending on what's driving their behavior or lack thereof.
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Once you know the cause of the failure to make a decision or causes plural, then you can make a strategy.
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So the first thing we have to do is be the detective and try to find out what's really going on.
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And there's two main ways to find that out.
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One is by talking with them.
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Most people leave clues, especially when they are trying to avoid doing something.
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They leave clues all over the place about what's really going on.
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Listen to what they say.
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Watch their body language.
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Notice what parts of the conversation or what subset topic areas make them uncomfortable and how does that discomfort get expressed?
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You can learn a lot just by paying attention to their words and their body language once you know that you're probably looking for one or more things on this list.
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Not to say that there's nothing else in the world that could cause them to not make a decision.
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But these are the main reasons that come up 90% of the time.
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Start there and start just observing and noticing.
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And once you begin to have a sense of what you think is the case, you can test that further by crafting messaging that will poke at that bit, just a little bit more.
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And to see if Yep.
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Oh yeah, that's the sore spot.
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We found it.
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It's this part.
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Okay.
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Now we know the specific sore spot.
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Sometimes when you want a decision it's really simple, like fund this proposal or don't.
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That doesn't usually lead to wishy-washy decision making.
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The more complicated a thing is, the more likely you're gonna have a wishy-washy decision maker behavior.
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'Cause they're weighing a lot of alternatives and they're considering a lot of different aspects, and very often in that process they wind up paralyzed and unable to make a decision or unwilling.
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So the more nuance and detail you have about which aspects of the complicated thing are particularly sore spots, the more helpful that is to you.
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Or it may be that the only thing that's really the sore spot for them is just how complicated it all is, and that there are too many stakeholders and that no matter what they do, someone will be irritated.
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In which case that gives you a clue that this is probably a little bit about conflict aversion, and it's definitely about competing pressures, and both of those are fundamentally about fear.
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So be the detective.
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First is your own observation and your own experimentation poking around a little bit to find the sore spots.
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And then the other thing that is incredibly valuable is ask around.
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And if they are speaking about this anywhere in the public forum, on socials, on podcasts, on traditional media, in town halls, wherever they may be showing up.
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Listen to what they're saying in those forums.
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Pay special attention if they are saying one thing in one forum and a different thing in a different forum, depending on who's in the audience.
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That's super important information.
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And then gossip is your friend in this case.
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Ask around carefully, quietly.
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Say, Hey, you know, we're getting the sense that such and so decision maker is, I'm not sure if they're ambivalent on this topic or if they're conflicted or what's going on, but they just seem unable to choose a path forward.
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And I'm wondering if you know what that might be about?
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And obviously you pick people to ask who have a prayer of knowing this, but you can ask around and you'll pick up all sorts of useful information.
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That's especially where you're likely to pick up information about any vested interests that they have, which could include particular alliances with certain stakeholder groups or individuals.
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It'll also tend to surface any incompetence issues.
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And it may very well surface some personality features.
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Like, oh, well that's just George.
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He's super conflict averse.
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He just can't cope anytime there's conflict.
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This is not new behavior.
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He does this all the time.
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So ask around, get more intel.
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Begin to identify what's in the way, what the real problem is here.
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Because I'll tell you what.
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On the surface, the indecision is about the substance of what's being decided.
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But it's never just about that.
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There's always something else under the surface.
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It won't do us any good to just address the substance piece at the top because it's an iceberg.
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The substance piece is what you can see.
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And they'll talk about the substance piece.
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They'll say, well, this is a problem because you know, this proposal here, this project, this policy design, whatever it is.
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There's a flaw here or there's a concern here.
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There's something about the substance of it, how it's designed, who it's designed to help, what it's scope is, all those things.
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And that's important.
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Absolutely.
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That's a big part of advocacy is getting the policy right.
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Or getting the funding right.
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No question.
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But that's the part of the iceberg you can see.
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Underneath that is the whole giant iceberg of what's going on inside that decision maker's head and heart.
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And the reality is that that stuff below the surface is is going to guide their actions, every time.
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So we have to address that too.
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There are also cues in their behavior and their behavior over time.
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Let's say for example, you've met with a particular decision maker, either in person or on Zoom or whatever.
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You've met with them, you've had conversations a few times, and you start noticing that the conversation never seems to move forward.
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You keep going around and around on the same issues or points repeatedly in each meeting, and they never move closer to an outcome or a decision, which is what you're trying to drive them toward.
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So if you notice that's happening, you're observing this unfold and you're like, okay, well something's up here.
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I just had a conversation with a client this week about a situation like this.
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And one of the questions I asked the client was, what do they seem to keep getting stuck on?
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What are the things that you're talking about again and again that don't seem to move forward?
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So we isolated that and I said, well, okay, so that's telling us something.
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That is a piece of what's driving the inability to come to a decision.
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There's something about that piece that's getting stuck, so we need to know more about that.
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And then I said, you know, we're missing some critical information about this individual decision maker.
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Cause from the behavior we were seeing, it was pretty clear that we were dealing with probably either a person who was conflict averse because we had seen some behavior from this person that suggested that might be the case.
00:14:28.272 --> 00:14:40.830
And we also knew for a fact that this decision maker was getting heavy input from some other pretty big stakeholders in the system and process, and that those stakeholders were kind of pushing this person around.
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So with not a ton of information other than just previous conversations and observed behavior, we were able to craft a strategy to say, okay, look, clearly this person is stuck.
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It appears they are trying not to make a decision, and that won't work for us.
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We need a decision and we need the decision to go a certain way.
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Where we landed was that as long as this decision maker was stuck in conflict aversion and fear of upsetting a powerful stakeholder, nothing would change.
00:15:15.602 --> 00:15:17.852
We came to two conclusions.
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One that it was time for pressure.
00:15:21.734 --> 00:15:37.491
But my client's organization as a Nonprofit on its own, doesn't wield sufficient power or influence to counter the power and influence held by these much larger for-profit entities that are the other stakeholders that are pushing in another direction.
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So where we came to was a strategy where the Nonprofit would gather up some of its more powerful allies and get them involved.
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We identified some state legislators who would likely be interested in how this decision got made.
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And there are for profit stakeholders that have contractual relationships with this client, and they could be brought in as more powerful stakeholders who could have a voice.
00:16:04.371 --> 00:16:06.292
We wanted to even the pressure.
00:16:06.975 --> 00:16:11.566
We know this decisionmakers feeling pressure from a powerful set of stakeholders.
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We needed to make sure that they were feeling equal pressure from my client's side of the story, so that that would at least be balanced out.
00:16:21.282 --> 00:16:27.192
Because otherwise we were afraid that this decision maker would simply yield to the gorilla in the room.
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So we decided to build our own gorilla.
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And made a strategy for which allies to bring in and how to convene a conversation that allows them to weigh in.
00:16:36.451 --> 00:16:44.777
At the same time, we knew that we needed more clarity about what was exactly holding up this decision maker.
00:16:45.256 --> 00:16:47.086
We suspected conflict aversion.
00:16:47.086 --> 00:16:52.897
We suspected discomfort and fear around the pressure coming from one side.
00:16:53.845 --> 00:17:06.737
But we also assessed that this person's boss would not be happy to discover that something might be about to happen that would blow up something that the boss was very invested in.
00:17:07.236 --> 00:17:16.574
So we considered some strategies for how we might loop the boss in without alienating the decision maker we were dealing with.
00:17:17.086 --> 00:17:35.387
So we decided to get the legislators and the for-profit stakeholders to check in with the boss, with the knowledge that if we got the boss on our side, that would put both a new kind of pressure on the decision maker we were dealing with, but would also give them cover to make the decision.
00:17:36.018 --> 00:17:41.028
Because if the boss is in favor of it, then it's not just on that one decision maker.
00:17:41.028 --> 00:17:42.978
It's like, well, this is where our agency's going.
00:17:42.978 --> 00:17:43.998
This is what we're doing.
00:17:45.136 --> 00:17:46.008
This is still unfolding.
00:17:46.008 --> 00:17:51.567
We just built this strategy a few days ago, so it will have to be carried out and we will learn as we go.
00:17:51.688 --> 00:17:59.238
And that's something that's also, you know, I talk about this all the time, that you formulate the best strategy you can with the information you have.
00:17:59.508 --> 00:18:06.438
And most of the time, one piece of your strategy is going to be, get as much more information as you can along the way.
00:18:07.211 --> 00:18:14.484
So we're both gathering additional intel, but we're also testing things and finding out what resonates and what else we can learn.
00:18:15.096 --> 00:18:27.536
And then each time that happens, we adjust and we refine and we keep at it until we are positioned where we need to be, with the influence that we need to have, in order to get the decision result that we want.
00:18:28.289 --> 00:18:31.349
So that's essentially the formula for this.
00:18:31.732 --> 00:18:34.732
To the extent that there is a formula, this is the formula.
00:18:35.452 --> 00:18:52.577
But this is mostly about understanding the degree to which sort of core human nature and core human foibles affect the behavior of even the most powerful decision makers, even the most highly placed decision makers.
00:18:52.577 --> 00:19:00.510
This can happen at very high levels, and it can happen all the way down the pecking order to very low level decision makers.
00:19:01.152 --> 00:19:06.046
They definitely tend to more often be driven by fear.
00:19:06.076 --> 00:19:07.605
They're worried about getting in trouble.
00:19:07.605 --> 00:19:13.314
They're worried about aggravating somebody higher up in their own organization or just aggravating anybody.
00:19:13.972 --> 00:19:26.852
So the lower in the pecking order they are that the greater the chances that there is a fear based dynamic happening, but it can occur at very high levels as well, sometimes simply because of personality type.
00:19:27.751 --> 00:19:40.787
You just have to take all those pieces of the puzzle, but start with the basic framework of there's a set of reasons that are 90% likely to be the reasons that a decision maker isn't taking action.
00:19:41.086 --> 00:19:48.257
If your issue is that there is a decision to be made and they're not making any progress on making the decision.
00:19:49.352 --> 00:20:06.991
That's your heads up that it's time to analyze the situation, understand exactly which of the human foibles and issues you're dealing with, and formulate a strategy to either break that up or go around it or accommodate it in some way.
00:20:07.979 --> 00:20:19.863
If the underlying reason is fear because of competing pressures from multiple decision makers, then you need a strategy to find the win-win solution and help the decision maker see that.
00:20:20.673 --> 00:20:30.747
If the problem is uncertainty and the fear that arises from that, then you become the expert guide who can show them the path out of their uncertainty.
00:20:31.446 --> 00:20:34.656
Now, if the problem is incompetence, you can help them think it through.
00:20:35.298 --> 00:20:36.317
Be their second brain.
00:20:36.973 --> 00:20:40.969
And if the problem is vested interest, this can get tricky.
00:20:41.486 --> 00:20:45.355
We'll operate from the assumption that their vested interest is non-corrupt.
00:20:45.882 --> 00:20:53.203
And in that case, you help them figure out a way to thread the needle so that they get what they want and you get what you want.
00:20:54.028 --> 00:21:03.478
One way or another, you're finding a way to address the part of the iceberg that's not immediately visible, but that is driving the decision maker's behavior.
00:21:04.249 --> 00:21:11.179
And then once you do that, your chances of getting that decision maker to actually make a decision go way up.
00:21:12.108 --> 00:21:13.364
I hope that's helpful.
00:21:13.453 --> 00:21:23.756
We could go a lot deeper on this, but that was the biggest principle that I wanted to share today to help shift your perspective a little bit on how to come at this very common problem.
00:21:24.476 --> 00:21:29.336
Thanks for listening, and I'll see you in the next episode right here on the Nonprofit Power Podcast.
